Saturday, 2 July 2011

I Need a Clone

I had a discussion today that wasn't long enough or as in-depth as it could have been.
It was about the sheer frustration with feeling as if time is constantly slipping away when it comes to conceiving ideas, developing them, and achieving the skill level desired.

This is a list of what goes round and round in my head EVERY DAY:

- I have to think of 3 project ideas for uni next year and be happy with them.....
- Focus on that one idea!  Research!  Develop it!
- Shit, what about the other ideas?
- I thought of a new idea....
- I wish I had a life drawing class to go to.
- Oh yeah, my dissertation needs to get started.
- I love photography...  What could I do with that?
- I need to be good enough to be a character designer for animation
- I need to be good enough to be a character designer for video games
- I need to be good enough to be a costume designer for film and TV production
- I need to be good enough to be a concept artist for video games
- Digitally paint stuff for fun! Just chill out, I'm worrying too much.
- I need a style.
- I need a variety of styles.
- I never finished that comic strip...
- I never started that other comic strip...
- In a year it's time to find a job. I need a portfolio with some impressive work to go in it and not just next year's project....
- I need to show I have a consistent style and standard.  But I need a variety of styles...  Just work on the standard?

And round and round it goes.

When it comes to creating imagery there are no limitations - skill, purpose, style, format - apart from the ones that you apply to yourself.
I've been that person, complete tunnel vision, and my work was shit.  Now, I'm at a standard I'm fairly pleased with, enough to not worry so much while I work, but I'm also desperately clawing at time to keep practising at every aspect.
It's not so much as a creative block but a creative flood, overwhelmingly washing over me.
I just want to be good at everything!  Is that too much to ask?!

I hope reincarnation is real.

J. x

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